Vote on Desiree Davidson's Story
Were they afraid we were planning a coup d'etat?
I spent my first summer during Columbia Law School at a firm in Philadelphia described as one of the best places in the city for black lawyers. I believed that if there was any place where I would have an equal chance at opportunities, be treated fairly and succeed, this would be it. There were three black female summer associates out of sixty that year but any time all three of us were in an office talking, one of the partners would knock on the door to see how we were doing. It happened too often to be a coincidence that sometimes we would purposely agree to meet in so-and-so's office to test our theory that we were being monitored. Like clock work, ten minutes after we would get together a partner would stop by.
Double Life
Being black in this country, we wear two masks, one which we wear when we are amongst friends and family and another when we are in the corporate world.
The constant travel kills your life and it's nearly impossible to meet someone and get married. After I left, I applied for another position at a top tier consulting firm and tried desperately to keep quiet the fact that I had a son.
If a white person in the corporate word uses language that you mostly associate with hip-hoppers, it's typically seen as urban and cool.
I would attend company dinners at executives' homes. People would bring their wives and husbands, but I could never bring my partner. People always thought I was single and couldn't find a date, so th
At work people took everything I said and took it out of context. I am a Christian, but it didn't matter to them. They saw me as a threat. One time I said, "You know, Jesus was a Palestinian. He was born 15 minutes away from where I was born." It didn't matter.
Growing up in the South, I learned how to be a chameleon. I almost went too far the other way, always fitting in. Religion wasn't an issue for me in the workplace, because my family comes from a Christian background.
In Corporate America, it was a little surprising to people that I was smart. The way I know I'm not welcome is that I'm extremely welcomed (they bend over backwards to make it look like I'm welcome, but it is awkward, and I know they are uncomfortable.) As long as I'm talking about how to cook black beans and dance salsa, I'm okay.
When did the fire go out? When I went to the company I had fire. I gave up my weekends. I gave up my nights. I thought this was going to be such the thing. But after a while reality set in. I remember being in a meeting with a bunch of people and after I made a comment, my manager stood up and said, "Sometimes we just have to shut up so decisions can be made." I remember thinking in that instant, I'm leaving.
I'm one of those rare people who have stayed at a company for 31 years. I think it was because I changed jobs internally about once every two years. I kept making those changes. I had some very great white male mentors.
As I got more and more proficient in the job, there was more and more pressure to conform, to be someone other than who I was. There were little things. There were suggestions like, "you really need t
